


Holding a Heart

by Cheshyr



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Miscommunication, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:08:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23080729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheshyr/pseuds/Cheshyr
Summary: “It’s simple ," Duff laughs, "I’m with Izzy because he’s amazing, and he’s with me because I give good head.”Wherein Izzy and Duff have very different views on their relationship, and Izzy goes about proving Duff wrong.
Relationships: Duff McKagan/Izzy Stradlin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	Holding a Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Even my attempts at writing smut end up as emotional hurt/comfort fics and I wish I could say I'm surprised but I'm really not.

“It’s simple- I’m with Izzy because he’s amazing, and he’s with me because I give good head.”

The words make Izzy jerk to a stop in the hallway, barely a foot away from the entrance to the living room where the voices were coming from. It was a rare quiet night in the Hell House- Axl was in one of his moods where he slept for days, Slash had gone out to some party with Nikki, and Izzy had been enjoying some peace in his and Duff’s shared room while the bass player hung out with Steven. Ultimately though, the guitarist had decided to wander downstairs to see what the two blondes were up to.

A moment earlier as he had approached, he had heard Steven laughing, “I just can’t get over it! You and Izzy, I never would have guessed. Like, how’d that even happen?” Izzy had shook his head fondly- he knew he and Duff could seem like an odd couple to outsiders. 

Then Duff had answered with those words, and Izzy felt his blood freeze.

He heard what sounded like Steven choking on his drink before laughing, “Dude, what?”

Duff laughed too. They both sounded halfway wasted already, “It’s true!”

“Oh come on.”

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m a realist,” he could hear the grin in Duff’s voice, “Gotta play to my strengths, y'know? Izzy’s so far out of my league it’s fucked up, so I gotta keep him coming back somehow. And if that means doing some acrobatics with my tongue-”

“Ew! No, stop! I don’t want to hear that!” 

There was a soft thud, probably Steven throwing a pillow at Duff, and the two blondes laughed, and Izzy stepped back silently, slipping back upstairs before anyone could catch him eavesdropping. 

Closing the door quietly, Izzy sat on his bed heavily, Duff’s words echoing in his head. They had been together for a little over a month now, their relationship still new and growing as they figured each other out. As far as Izzy was concerned there had always been _something_ between the two of them, even before they finally hooked up after a night of drunken partying, but it was still different being in an official relationship together. 

Sighing, he fell back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. He’d dated people before, so it wasn’t like he didn’t know there’d be a bit of an adjustment period, and sure, he knew he wasn’t the best at expressing his feelings, but he never thought that he and Duff could be on such different pages. He never thought Duff wouldn’t know exactly how Izzy felt about him. It was upsetting, honestly, and he felt his jaw clench as he pressed his fists against his eyes in frustration. He felt angry. 

Mostly because, now that he thought about it, it made sense.

It was actually something that had been vaguely bothering Izzy for awhile now- the onesided nature of their sex life. From the very start, Duff had been extremely giving in bed. All Izzy had to do was give him a look and he’d be dropping to his knees, or falling on all fours on their bed, focusing everything on making the guitarist feel as good as possible. Thinking about it now, Izzy couldn’t help but feel a little shame at the realization that in the entirety of their relationship, not once had Duff come first. He had been too distracted at finally being able to call the bassist his. 

And all this time, Duff had been assuming… what? That if he didn’t satisfy Izzy enough in bed he’d be kicked to the curb? That he had to earn his place in their relationship through sex?

_I gotta keep him coming back somehow._

Did he really think that was the only reason Izzy was with him?

Curling up on top of the bed, he tosses and turns. His mind races, feeling angry and confused and sad, trying to figure out where he went wrong and how he can fix it. It’s a few hours later when Duff quietly creeps into the room, fumbling in the dark and smelling like vodka. When he crawls into bed, Izzy turns around so he can wrap the taller man in his arms, pulling him close.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” the bassist mumbled.

Izzy shook his head, “Nah, you’re fine.”

Duff passes out in mere minutes, his long limbs snaking around the other man in his sleep. Izzy runs a hand through his hair and thinks about what to do.

~~~~

The next day is just as quiet. Slash spends the morning sprawled on the couch nursing a hangover until rehearsal time. Axl still wouldn't leave his room, so Slash, Duff, Izzy, and Steven just mess around with different riffs and melodies, taking note of the ones they want to develop further. By the time the sun starts to set, Slash and Steven are talking about some club or party or something going on that night. Izzy isn’t really paying attention- just waiting for the right moment.

That moment comes quickly, as Slash turns to where Duff and Izzy are seated and invites them to come out for the night with them.

Izzy shakes his head casually, “No thanks. I was actually thinking about calling it an early night.” He has one arm draped around Duff’s waist, and as he speaks he pushes his shirt up just enough to brush his fingers across the skin of his hip.

As expected, Duff hones in on it immediately, grinning at their bandmates, “Yeah, I think I’m gonna stay in too,” he slings and arm around Izzy’s shoulders, “Keep this guy company, y’know?”

“Gross,” Slash laughs good naturedly, Steven snickering when Duff shoots him a sly wink. Within a few minutes the lead guitarist and drummer are heading out into the night to look for trouble, leaving the couple alone.

Grinning, Izzy stands and pulls Duff to his feet, “Now, what should we do with our quiet night in?” he teases.

“Hm, I can think of a few things,” Duff replies, allowing himself to be tugged upstairs. When they reach their room, Izzy locks the door behind them, just in case Axl decides to come bother them for some reason. He switched on the lamp on the side table, glancing over the couple supplies he had placed there earlier. Izzy had spent half of the night deciding exactly how he wanted this evening to go. He had a plan.

Step one involved draping his arms around Duff’s neck and pulling him into a kiss before he could try to kneel down in front of him. Walking them back further into the room, Izzy kissed him soft and slow. Even when Duff sighed into his mouth, lips parting for him, his tongue was gentle, languid. He didn’t want anything rough tonight.

Guiding the bassist onto the bed and pushing him onto his back, he broke the kiss to breathe out, “Can I-”

“Yes.”

Izzy couldn’t help but frown just slightly at Duff’s immediate answer, the way he agreed without even knowing what Izzy was asking, so intent on just giving the dark haired man whatever he wanted. He wondered if Duff would ever say no to him, if he was comfortable enough to do so if he needed. He wondered if there had _already_ been times when Duff had wanted to say no but didn’t, and he shudders at the thought.

But he forced himself to push those thoughts aside, just for now. He’d come back to them later. Right now though, he focused on tugging Duff’s shirt off and tossing it aside before leaning down for another kiss. They break again to get Izzy’s shirt off, allowing their bare chests to press together as the guitarist sucks a mark behind Duff’s ear.

As he moans, Duff reaches down to palm Izzy’s bulge through his pants. But before he can work the button open, Izzy grasps his wrists in a gentle grip and moves to press them into the mattress above his head. Leaning back, Izzy can’t help but grin.

“Keep your hands up here for me?”

For a moment, Duff blinks in surprise, but then he grins back, “Alright,” and he curls his fingers into the sheets, holding his place as Izzy releases his wrists. The guitarist dipped down to kiss along Duff’s neck, hiding a smirk of victory. After all, he couldn’t have Duff distracting him and getting the upper hand.

But then again, the more he works his way across Duff’s skin, the more Izzy feels like nothing could distract him from his mission. He kisses down the bassist’s chest, letting his fingers skim along his ribs down to the waistband of his pants, running his tongue over his nipples, and each hitch of the blonde’s breath is addictive. It’s different than usual- different than the drawn out moans and rasping dirty talk that he usually hears from Duff, and he wants nothing more than to find out what other noises he can draw from him.

He gets a few when he mouths at his hipbone as he works his pants open; a shuddering exhale and a sharp gasp. And when he finally slides the tight fabric down his thighs, a strained “Izzy…” reaches his ears and makes his blood thrum beneath his skin.

Duff’s body tenses just slightly beneath him, and Izzy runs his hands up his thighs soothingly. He starts to speak, but only manages to rasp out “Iz-” before the guitarist licks a long stripe from the base of his cock all the way to the head, and his words are lost as he sucks in a breath through his teeth, exhaling a low moan that has Izzy twitching in his own pants.

It’s another thing that’s bothered him that he’s never understood. Until now, Izzy had never sucked Duff off. The taller man would always get his mouth on him first and then jerk off while Izzy was coming down from his climax, and Izzy never knew how to ask about it when, at the time, he didn’t even know if there was actually a problem or if he was just overthinking it.

Now he regrets not pushing for this sooner. Duff’s cries jump up an octave as Izzy slowly takes him into his mouth, pressing his hips down gently when they involuntarily jerk forward. His thighs tremble under Izzy hands as he pulls back to tongue as the slit before dropping back down, taking as much of the length as he can and swallowing around it. He hears a stuttering whine from Duff and moans around his dick, feeling his own erection throb between his legs. He moves up and down in a steady rhythm, savoring every gasp and moan he draws out. When he brings one hand down to massage Duff’s balls, he feels a full body shudder go through the blonde before he starts stuttering.

“W-wait, Izzy, wait, h-hold on-”

Pulling back, he looks up at the bassist. Duff’s hands had moved from above his head, now clutching at the sheets next to his stomach as he blinks down at him, “I-” he shakes his head a little, trying to clear the haze of pleasure just a little, “I’m gonna-... I haven’t even- I haven’t touched you yet. Shouldn’t I-”

And oh, if Duff still has the presence of mind to think about ‘shoulds’, then Izzy isn’t doing his job. So he smirks up at him, lets out a simple, “Nope,” and then he’s swallowing Duff down in a single motion. 

The sound Duff makes is _gorgeous_ \- his voice cracking on a high pitched whine as his head falls back and his knuckles turn white from their grip on the sheets. Izzy redoubles his efforts, sucking at the head and sliding deep into his throat and back again, one hand stroking the skin of Duff’s balls while the other grips his ass to pull him closer. 

Duff is panting, his voice breathy as he mutters between moans, “F-fuck, Izzy-... Oh, _oh_ , fuck, I-”

Izzy can feel it coming, and he brings his hands back up to grip Duff’s hips as he presses his tongue against him one last time. Duff’s back arches off the bed as he comes hard in Izzy’s mouth, a sharp gasp turning into a high pitched moan as Izzy swallowed through his orgasm.

When he finally pulls off, Duff lets out a soft whine as cold air hits his spit slick cock, and Izzy can’t help but stare at the way his body slowly goes slack, eyes closed while his chest heaves and his fingers uncurl from the sheets.

“I-...” Duff is still catching his breath, and Izzy feels a little swell of pride at that. Swallowing as he gathers his thoughts, Duff opens his eyes and starts to sit up, giving him a small smile, “Okay... your turn now-”

But Izzy presses his fingers into the blonde’s sternum, pushing him back down, “Oh, babe,” he grins mischievously, sliding up Duff’s body to look down at the confusion painting his still-flushed face, “You haven’t figured it out yet?” 

Duff opens his mouth to respond, but before he has a chance, Izzy is scraping his nails lightly over his inner thighs, dragging them up to ghost over the sensitive skin of his cock, and any words he had are lost to a breathless keen, and Izzy grins wider. His head tips back and Izzy takes the opportunity to mouth along his jaw, trailing lips and teeth up until he can whisper in his ear, “Tonight is all about _you_.”

He presses a kiss to Duff’s open mouth before he can say anything, pulling at his lower lip with his teeth as he strokes him slowly back to full hardness. Every time he pulls back to breathe, Duff tries to speak through his gasps, but Izzy won't let him. He just keeps swooping in with his tongue to swallow up the words. Finally though, Duff pushes at his shoulders, putting enough space between them that he can start rambling breathlessly.

“But-... _Why?_ ” He looks almost uncomfortable as he blinks up at the dark haired man- confusion warring with pleasure as Izzy’s hands continued working against his skin distractingly, struggling to string a sentence together, “I should-... I don’t mind-... You don’t have to-”

Izzy presses a kiss to the bridge of his nose this time, but it still manages to silence the bassist. “I know,” he whispered against his skin, “I know I don’t have to. I want to.”

“But _why_?” he asks again in a rasping voice, eyes fluttering shut as Izzy runs his hands up his sides.

Izzy has always known that Duff was special to him, long before they got together. But afterwards, he tried not to think too much about his feelings towards him. The truth was, when he thought about it, the intensity of his feelings almost scared him. It was overwhelming, and he was never that good with words anyways, he was the quiet one, so how was he even supposed to explain it?

So he surprises himself when he opens his mouth and the words just start tumbling out, honest and sincere and easier than he thought it’d be.

“Because I want you to feel _good_ ,” he wraps his arms around Duff’s back, pressing their bodies together until there is no space between them, kissing at the hollow of his throat between words, “I want you to feel special, and cherished, and _loved_ , because you _are_ and you don’t even know it.”

The blonde takes a deep, shuddering breath, letting out a broken sounding “Izzy…” on the exhale.

And Izzy _is_ overwhelmed, but in the best way possible. He shifts just enough to fumble with his jeans, shoving them down clumsily so that they are both naked, nothing but skin against skin, and when he thrusts his hips to press their cocks together they both moan.

He scrapes his teeth against Duff’s collar bone and the blonde tangles his fingers into his dark hair. As he sucks little marks onto his chest, Izzy reaches over blindly with one hand until he finds the bottle of lube on the nightstand. He doesn’t want to pull away, the slide of their skin together feeling like heaven, but he’s a little worried that if he doesn’t show a little restraint he’s going to end up coming too soon, and he can’t have that. Not tonight.

So he lifts his hips, and Duff’s fingers clench in his hair at the loss. When he hears the snap of the lube opening, the bassist swallows thickly and shifts to try to roll over. But Izzy stops him with a firm hand on his hip, pushing him back with a smirk.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he scolds teasingly, “Not this time, sweetheart.”

Izzy didn’t want their usual hard, fast fuck. He didn’t want Duff on his stomach or his hands and knees while Izzy pounded into him carelessly. He didn’t want what he now recognized as exaggerated moans and flirtations, and calculated motions that prioritized Izzy’s pleasure over Duff’s. And maybe it was cliche as Hell, and his face flushed just thinking about it, but the truth was, Izzy didn’t want to just fuck the man beneath him. He wanted to make love to him.

Kissing him deeply, Izzy slipped his hands under Duff’s back, squeezing his ass briefly before sliding down the backs of his thighs and hooking under his knees to spread his legs. Coating his fingers in lube, he strokes the ring of muscle gently for a moment, letting Duff sigh into his mouth before pressing one finger inside of him. He gives Duff a minute to adjust, working in and out slowly before adding a second finger. As he pushes in, Duff moans low and deep in his chest at the stretch, but when Izzy crooks his fingers to stroke inside of him, the sound pitches up, back arching and toes curling as Izzy hits his sweet spot. His mouth is parted as he gasps and pants, and Izzy can’t resist leaning down to suck on his lower lip as he adds a third finger.

“Izzy…” Duff pleads, stretching his name out as he grips at the other man’s shoulders, “Izzy, come on, I-... _More_ , I need _more_.”

And how could Izzy deny him anything? Duff whines as he removes his fingers, moving quickly to coat his erection in a generous amount of lube, hissing as his dick finally gets some attention, feeling rock hard under his hand. But he doesn’t linger, and once he decides he’s slick enough, he lifts Duff’s hips and lines himself up.

Duff lets out a choked sounding cry as he slides in, slow and smooth, and Izzy finds himself panting with the effort of not coming right then and there. The bassist is shaking under him, eyes clenched shut and gasping shallowly, and it didn’t feel like Izzy had hurt him, but he couldn’t help but worry.

Reaching down to push a few strands of hair out of Duff’s face, Izzy managed to breathe out, “Are you okay? Did I-”

But Duff is nodding vigorously before he can even finish, “It’s good, fuck, Izzy it feels so good,” his voice is heavy with need, hooking his calves around Izzy’s legs to try to pull him closer, “Fuck, so good, move, please, Izzy, move-”

So he does, pulling out almost completely before thrusting to the hilt again. Looking down at him, Izzy knows that he is never letting Duff face away from him during sex ever again. It’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen- Duff’s gold hair fanned around his head like a halo, face flushed, eyelashes fluttering with pleasure and chest gleaming with sweat. He keeps his thrusts slow and deep, and he finds words spilling out of his mouth as he stares.

“Fuck, I can’t believe I’m the one who gets to do this to you,” he rasped, “I can’t believe you chose me. God, Duff, I wanna make you feel so good, wanna give you _everything_.”

Duff’s fingers dug into his back, holding him as tight and as close as possible, with his face buried in Izzy’s neck to muffle the keens and gasps spilling from his lips. To hide the kaleidoscope of emotions on his face. And as much as Izzy wants to see him, he lets him stay there, tangling one hand in the messy blonde locks as he gives another slow thrust, rolling his hips to press against Duff’s sweet spot and then staying there.

“Yeah, I got you,” he mumbles into Duff’s hair, bringing his free hand around to press against the small of his back and push them impossibly closer, letting the blonde’s cock slide between their bodies, “I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere, not for anything.” 

“Izzy, Iz, Iz-” his name tumbles breathlessly from Duff’s mouth like it’s the only word he knows, his vocabulary narrowed down to nothing but the man above him. After a few more careful thrusts, Duff tightens his grip on Izzy, pressing his face into his skin even harder as he comes with a choked sob, coating both of their stomachs and chests with his cum.

Izzy only manages to hold out for a moment as Duff clenches around him before he is falling over the edge right behind him, seeing stars and moaning Duff’s name as he comes deep inside him. He practically collapses on top of the bassist, panting and exhausted from what he’s pretty sure was one of the best orgasms of his life. Duff doesn’t seem to mind. While Izzy is limp and boneless, the blonde hasn’t moved- still clinging tightly to his back with his face in the crook of his neck, sucking in deep breaths as tiny tremors run through his whole body.

Despite wanting nothing more than to stay right here forever, eventually the drying cum starts to get uncomfortable. So Izzy finally starts to gently pull away so he can clean them both up. But as he does, he catches Duff blinking rapidly, his eyes wet and a few tears caught on his eyelashes.

He tries to duck his head, but Izzy doesn’t let him, leaning down to press their foreheads together, “You alright?” he asks softly, stroking his cheek with his thumb.

Duff lets out a huff of laughter and gives a small but genuine smile, “Yeah. Yeah, more than alright. I just-... fuck,” he brings a hand up to rub at his face roughly, “Sorry, fuck, I’m acting like a chick-”

“Oh shut up,” Izzy laughs gently, kissing his forehead, “I get it,” and he does, really. He strokes the side of his face and presses their closed lips together, lingering for one last moment before finally forcing himself to sit up and reaching over to grab the damp washcloth he’d left on the side table earlier. 

“You were prepared tonight,” Duff teases shakily, sitting up on his elbows and trying to subtly wipe his eyes.

“I think we can all agree that the worst part of sex is anything that requires you to leave the bed afterwards,” Izzy grins, quickly wiping down both of their stomachs and Duff’s thighs. Enough to get them clean, but hurried- eager to switch the lamp off and settle back down with Duff in his arms.

Duff certainly doesn’t seem to mind, rolling over to rest his head on Izzy’s shoulder as the dark haired man wraps his arms around him, one hand tangling in his blonde hair while the other smooths up and down his back. Calloused fingers tap lightly against Izzy’s chest, and for a few minutes the only sounds are their breaths in the dark.

“Hey, Izzy?” 

He hums in response to the soft voice. There is a pause as Duff hesitates, but then he turns his head slightly to mumble against Izzy’s skin, “I love you.”

A smile stretches across Izzy’s face and he presses a kiss to the crown of Duff’s head. This isn’t over. He knows that. Eventually he and Duff will have to actually talk about what’s been going on, and it will probably take more than one night to fully convince Duff of Izzy’s feelings. 

But it’s a start.

“I love you too. So, so much.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on tumblr @motherfucker-oftheyear


End file.
